ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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