Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
