You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
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