How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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