C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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