guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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