8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
