guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
