The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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