chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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