So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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