Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
