Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
