Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
