I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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