pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
