at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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