she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
