If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
