The brown eye won't let me do that either.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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