Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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