how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
soo... how was my night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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