yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
