You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
