did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
