I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
farters have to be the big spoon...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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