Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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