Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
