does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
