dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
