Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
