i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
