So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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