I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
P.S. I can't hear my feet
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
