Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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