Betty ford says i'm here all night
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
