READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
