some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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