I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
