I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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