Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
