I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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