Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
im six kinds of drunk right now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
they're like a gay fantastic four
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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