this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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