If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
