dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
