i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
