Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
