Where did you get a picture of my penis
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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