what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
