hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
