just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
