I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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