Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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