Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
