I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
