I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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