omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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